No blue falcons were found that night.
i remember when i thought i was straight and this guy i was dating was trying to pressure me into sex while i had cramps by saying “orgasms relieve cramps babe” and without thinking i replied “but you don’t make me cum” and i have never seen anyone go through the seven stages of grief so quickly
d e s t r o y e d
Jenna making everyone feel like they have a low IQ
Just a reminder that even though she makes silly videos on YouTube, this girl also has a masters degree from a top rate university.
everyone else: you can put that back that’s heavy
jenna goddamn marbles, compassionate lady extraordinaire: that’s contributing to the problem putting this card back would be a privilege and I have enough privilege as it is
jenna is a longstanding reminder that having fun and doing what you like is in no way indicative of your intelligence or compassion and that growth is real and possible for everyone willing to try
this for retail workers only
y’all think if a customer come thru and berate the shit outta you and you just smile and say “thank you for being so patient, have a nice day” and they still call corporate on you corporate gonna be like “uh ok” and you won’t get in trouble?
lol the answer is no you still get in trouble
yeah I seen one of my niggas get written up for telling a customer to go home because they were begging to come into the store 15 minutes after we’d closed and locked the doors.
I decided from that point that if imma get written up I might as well give em a good reason for it. I’ll tell a customer to go fuck themselves idc
I got fired for telling a customer I’m specifically not allowed to open my drawer to make change from one of his bills. He then proceeded to just grab one of the bills off my keyboard while the drawer was open and angrily tell me to just give him the change, the exact amount. I said calmly “I know how to make change sir” which apparently ticked him off so much he called later curious and chewed out my manager and said he was going to call corporate. My manager asked me what happened, I explained, he CHECKED the fucking camera and verified it and said in situations where a customer snatches a bill and replaces it with another one I should just call a manager because they have no way of knowing if there’s something up with it. Then a week or so later they fired me.
Mind you the first two things I was told upon being hired were 1) you have to check IDs and if you fuck up we will fire you and you have to pay a several thousand dollar fine to the state and 2) you’re not allowed to make change if a customer asks, only as part of a transaction.
retail is probably the only occupation on the planet where a company will fire you for doing your job exactly the way they asked you to.
i really want to make a company where the customer is not always right take your dumb asses home
dbrand (a phone case/Graphic Design company) is probably the closest I’ve seen to that, they will literally tell their customers to go fuck themselves if they try throwing tantrums about product. But they’re an all-around cool company so they get away with it because most people know that’s how they are.
example:
the crew goes out into the forest just to film random b-roll shit and the director accidentally finds the like..rarest worm on earth so they run back to their house like COYOTE LOOK and then there is a very heartfelt and sincere response to weird worm including an entire mounted piece of wall art apparently
Imagining this from the perspective of someone who has no idea what a velvet worm is or no interest in “bugs” is really really funny but it’s also still really funny if you do.
This is also how I felt when we moved to Portland and suddenly there was a shelled slug right outside one night.
Chance of a lifetime for an epic trick
The passenger steamer SS Warrimoo was quietly knifing its way through
the waters of the mid-Pacific on its way from Vancouver to Australia.
The navigator had just finished working out a star fix and brought
Captain John DS. Phillips, the result. The Warrimoo’s position was LAT
0º 31’ N and LONG 179 30’ W. The date was 31 December 1899.
“Know what this means?” First Mate Payton broke in, “We’re only a few
miles from the intersection of the Equator and the International Date
Line”. Captain Phillips was prankish enough to take full advantage of
the opportunity for achieving the navigational freak of a lifetime.
He called his navigators to the bridge to check & double check the
ship’s position. He changed course slightly so as to bear directly on
his mark. Then he adjusted the engine speed.
The calm weather & clear night worked in his favor. At mid-night the
SS Warrimoo lay on the Equator at exactly the point where it crossed
the International Date Line! The consequences of this bizarre position
were many:
The forward part (bow) of the ship was in the Southern Hemisphere &
in the middle of summer.
The rear (stern) was in the Northern Hemisphere & in the middle of
winter.
The date in the aft part of the ship was 31 December 1899.
In the bow (forward) part it was 1 January 1900.
—
This ship was therefore not only in:
Two different days,
Two different months,
Two different years,
Two different seasons
But in two different centuries - all at the same time!
i’ll be honest i’m not even sure half of these are vines but here we go
VINES ARE THERAPY
imcrying
My home will be a home with no loud anger, no explosive rage, no slamming doors or breaking glass, no name calling, shaming or blackmail. My home will be gentle, it will be warm. It will keep my loved ones safe. No fear, no hurt and no worries. I may come from a broken and twisted place but I will build something whole and safe. I’ll sing in the shower again, cook with a smile and dance in all the rooms. I will heal.
DAY 15
GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15
You can only reblog this 12 times a year
Make the most of that
Every month I reblog this and every month I’m baffled that it’s already the 15th.
I’m scheduling this for every month
guys this is the only time this month u can reblog this
Has it really already been a month since I last reblogged this?!
Aw, this is cute.
Honestly I can’t believe that I’m watching this right now. This is
This is the sweetest most gentle and loving and pure thing I’ve ever beheld and I feel so blessed to have seen this
“Sshh don’t cry, my baby.”
MY FUCKING HEART 😭
“My baby is big and soft and doesn’t look like me but he is my son and I love him.”
have y’all ever had communion bread that was just so….nasty? like i know we have to suffer as christians, but do we really need to have whole wheat bread as the body of christ?
my old church used hawaiian bread. my standards are high
Some old housemates of mine were Syrian Orthodox. At their church different members of the church took turns baking the bread that would be consecrated for the Eucharist. This was all well and good until one woman baked raisin bread. This led to the memorable occasion of a rather flustered priest, who had not seen the bread until that moment, declaring, “This - except for the raisins - is the Body of Christ.”
EXCEPT FOR THE RAISINS omg
Raisins are just dried grapes though, and wine is his blood so really its like a two in one shampoo & conditioner except with jesus
like a two in one shampoo & conditioner except with jesus
sarahseesarahdew
